We are getting closer to the New Year.
And New Year, New Me, right?
We are going to set New Year's resolutions and forget about them after a couple of weeks.
I’m so tired of doing this over and over again.
Let’s do it the right way this time and stick to our goals.
But first, let's get one thing straight.
Don’t take a goal as a destination. Because if you don’t hit the goal you would be sad. If you hit the goal you feel slightly happy but it pressures you to make another goal.
You also put yourself in the situation: “Once I reach this goal, then I will be happy.”
A goal should give you direction, purpose, and meaning. It helps you to answer a question: “Where are you trying to get to, Where do you want to be?”
Your goals should focus more on the journey.
I’m reading a book called Atomic Habits written by James Clear. He writes there:
“If you want better results, then forget about setting goals. Focus on your system instead.”
Define Your Goals
A classic approach to the goals is to make them SMART:
Specific: Clearly define what you want to achieve.
Measurable: Determine how you'll track your progress and measure success.
Achievable: Ensure your goal is realistic and attainable within your resources.
Relevant: Ensure your goal aligns with your values and long-term aspirations.
Time-bound: Set a deadline for achieving your goal
But having goals like I want to be happy, I want to have an empty calendar, I want to travel and work from the beach. These are legit too. Who said that these are not goals?
Be honest about what you want!
Instead of giving yourself a destination with your goal, try to become the person you always wanted to be.
Try building your identity.
The goal doesn’t have to be to read 10 books a year, the goal can be to become a reader.
Instead of "I will run a marathon", the goal could be to become a runner.
The goal should help you to be a better person, it should help you to establish your new and better identity.
Break Your Goals Down
When you have your goal and identity of who you want to be and what you want to achieve. Let’s cut the goal into smaller pieces.
Large, intimidating goals can be overwhelming.
This not only makes the journey less daunting but also allows you to celebrate your progress along the way.
Continuing with the running example, you could break it down like this:
Step 1: Establish a running plan and stick to it - for 1 month
Step 2: each month add 5 more kilometers
Step 3: start a healthier eating plan - increase protein intake
Step 4: after 6 months be able to run 20 kilometers
Step 5: at the end of the year be able to run 42 kilometers
Write It Down
There's something powerful about putting your goals in writing.
It makes them tangible and serves as a constant reminder. Consider creating a vision board, journal, or digital note to keep your goals front and center in your life.
Use an app like TickTick to make a schedule for your running sessions and set reminders.
Set Priorities
In life, you might have multiple goals competing for your attention. I don’t recommend more than 3.
Determine which ones are most important to you at this moment and focus on them. You can always revisit and pursue other goals once you've made significant progress.
In the book Atomic Habits, James Clear advises you to ask yourself a question: “What would the (insert name, runner, entrepreneur) do?”
Because you want to change your identity and become a runner you have to think and behave like a runner.
Asking yourself these kinds of questions can help you decide whether to go running or not, to eat that cake or not, to binge-watch Netflix the whole week or not. Would that person I want to be, do that?
Stay Accountable
Accountability is key to achieving your goals. Some people believe that sharing your goals with someone you trust, like a friend, family member, or mentor, can hold you accountable.
But this can also lead to some kind of dopamine release which is the same as achieving that goal.
Building in silence, and focusing on your goal might not be such a bad idea.
“When you build in silence, people don’t know what to attack.”
You don’t have to seek validation from other people.
When you work hard and achieve success, you feel a sense of accomplishment and pride, which can boost your self-esteem and self-worth.
Your success will speak for itself and serve as a model for others to follow, motivating them to work harder and achieve their dreams.
Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity
Not every step of your goal-setting journey will be smooth. You may encounter setbacks or failures, but these are opportunities to learn and grow.
Instead of giving up, analyze what went wrong, adjust your approach, and keep moving forward.
Remember, setbacks are not the end of your journey. They are just detours.
It’s all about your self-improvement and self-acceptance.
My father always said to me: “Who does nothing, spoils nothing, but also gains nothing.”
Celebrate Your Achievements
Finally, don't forget to celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.
Did you run 5 kilometers? Great!
Acknowledging your progress reinforces your commitment and motivation to continue working towards your goals.
Treat yourself to a reward or simply take a moment to appreciate how far you've come.
Buy new running shoes!
Why? Because you stuck to your goals, you are changing your identity. You deserve to be proud of yourself!
Goal setting is a powerful tool that can transform your dreams into reality.
Your goals should focus on the journey and not on the destination.
Build it in silence.
Don’t be scared of failure.
You will be better each day.
You will make your dreams a reality.
I hope you enjoyed this one.
Talk to you soon.
~ Karolina
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